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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Where To Get A Cheap Beer

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Guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says that'll be five bucks.

The guy is outraged. "Five bucks?" he says, "Why down the street the bar only charges a buck. And with every drink you get a lottery ticket to win free sex in the back."

The bartender looks at him and asks: "Did you ever win?" The guy says: "No... but my wife won three times."

A Military Question

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What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

Rodeo Sex

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How to have rodeo sex: Flip her over on all fours, start bangin' her doggie style, call her by her sister's name, and try to hang on for 8 seconds.

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One Of A Kind

What do you call a beautiful Polish girl?

Lucky!

Thanksgiving Day Football

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

How'd He Do It?!

A man went to the police station looking for a chance to question the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sargent.

“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”