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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Where To Get A Cheap Beer

Created: 24 November 2014
Hits: 3072

Guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says that'll be five bucks.

The guy is outraged. "Five bucks?" he says, "Why down the street the bar only charges a buck. And with every drink you get a lottery ticket to win free sex in the back."

The bartender looks at him and asks: "Did you ever win?" The guy says: "No... but my wife won three times."

A Military Question

Created: 22 November 2014
Hits: 3355

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

Rodeo Sex

Created: 20 November 2014
Hits: 3203

How to have rodeo sex: Flip her over on all fours, start bangin' her doggie style, call her by her sister's name, and try to hang on for 8 seconds.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

New Train Set For Christmas

Why are a woman's breasts like a Xmas train set?

Originally made for kids but dad wants to play with them.

And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

A Sign of the Times

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other: "Man, was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!"

His buddy signs back: "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." The fist guy signs: "How do you do that?"

His friend signs to him: "Easy! I turn the lights off!"

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