Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?

Draw a dick on it.

A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.

He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"

Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."

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I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

A guy asks his grandma, "Have you seen some pills around here? They are labeled LSD?"

His grandma replies, "Fuck your pills, there's a dragon in the kitchen!"

Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?

Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

Breaking A Bad Habit