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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Breaking A Bad Habit

Hits: 3128

How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?

Draw a dick on it.

Real Facts Of Life

Hits: 2952

A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.

He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"

Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."

Always Know What To Say

Hits: 2920

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Can't Try It On First

A guy goes into a drug store to buy some condoms. The girl behind the counter asks, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up one finger and asks, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and asks, “That big?” He says, “Smaller.” She holds up two fingers and he says, “Yeah, that’s it.”

She sticks the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”

Who Likes Bananas?

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

A Matter of Timing

My wife and I were discussing the recent death of a friend. She asked me: "Why do you think men die before their wives?" 

I said: "Because they want to."

And that's when the fight started...