Little Red Riding Hood went to grandma's house and found her lying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, ''Grandma, what big eyes you have!'' Grandma replied: ''The better to see you with, my dear.'' Then Little Red Riding Hood remarked: ''Grandma, what big ears you have!'' Grandma smiled and said: "The better to hear you with, my dear.''
Finally Little Red Riding Hood said: ''Grandma, what a big mouth you have!'' Grandma snapped back: ''Of course I do! Have you seen Grandpa's dick?!?''
Little Johnny goes to school. His first class is English, and the teacher wants the kids to say what they ate for breakfast and spell it.
Jenny raises her hand and says: "'toast' -- t o a s t." Bobby says: "my turn teacher 'eggs' -- e g g s." Little Johnny shouts out" "'fucking nothing' -- f u c k i n g n o t h i n g."
The teacher is furious and makes Little Johnny stand in the corner till the end of the English lesson.
The next class is geography. The teacher puts a map up and asks the class who knows where the Polish border lies.
Little Johnny shoots up his hand and says: "He's at home on top of my mom. That's why I got fucking nothing for breakfast!"
One day Little Johnny's mother was cleaning his room when she found a Bondage and S&M magazine under his bed. This was very upsetting to her. So she waited until Little Johnny's dad came home, handed him the magazine and told him: "Look what I found under Johnny's bed. What do you think we should do about it?"
Dad looked took the magazine, thumbed through a few pages, then handed it back to her saying: "Well... I don't think we should spank him."
