What'd the hockey player get on his SAT's?
Drool.
What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?
A wedding ring.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"
Then I unplugged his life support.
I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
