Why doesn't Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
I have the worst luck when it comes to scoring with chicks. Last night I got this cute little number back to my place and made my move with, "So you want to have sex?"
She said, "Well, I don't normally do this... but I think I'm gonna pass."
I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...
sex.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.