Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?

Kill your cat.

Gal tells her friend, "I just read it's against the law to go topless in the New York subway."

Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."