Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

A new last name.

A little boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"

So his father takes him up to the bedroom where mom is sleeping. "Look at this," he says as he lifts the covers carefully. "That's a pussy son."

"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"

"No!" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"

Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.