Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?

Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.

What do you get when you sleep with a judge?

An honorable discharge.

Three blondes walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would've seen it...