A Penis Enlarger That Really Works

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?

Very little.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

What is a man's view of safe sex?

A padded headboard.