A Penis Enlarger That Really Works

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

A lady goes golfing and gets hit in the ass really hard with a golf ball. She goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "Where were you hit?" She says, "Between the first and the second hole."

He says, "That doesn't leave alot of room for a band-aid, does it?"