The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Did you ever think what a horrible life a dick has? Think about it... his roommates are nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and every night his owner strangles him with one hand until he throws up!