The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
My wife asked: "How was dinner?"
I told her: "It was fit for a king! Here King.... here boy..."
And that's when the fight started...
Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'
Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'
