The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."
Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."
What do a condom & a coffin have in common?
You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.
What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
Cowboy hats are for assholes.
