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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Another Blonde Joke

Hits: 3550

Why do blondes like to drive cars with a sunroof?

More leg room.

Bigger Than You Think

Hits: 2884

Why do men like women with small hands?

It makes their dicks look bigger.

What Rhymes With Hibernation?

Hits: 3202

It's the spring, and the baby bear comes out of his cave. His knees are wobbling, he's a wreck. He's skin and bones, with big circles under his eyes.

His mother says, "Junior! Did you hibernate all winter like you were supposed to?"

He says, "Hibernate? Shit! I thought you said masturbate!"

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Great Minds Think Alike

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Little Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"

Litle Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Little Johnny tells her, "Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher says, "No, the answer is two, but I like how you're thinking."

So Little Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."

Little Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

Who Likes Bananas?

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

Liberals vs. Conservatives

What's the difference between a conservative and a liberal?

A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.