Why do men like women with small hands?
It makes their dicks look bigger.
Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.
The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."
The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."
The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."
A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today."
She walks in and finds him with his pants down. "That's not a watch!" she says.
"It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."
You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.
