Why do men like women with small hands?
It makes their dicks look bigger.
Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."
He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."
And that's when the fight started...
