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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

A Night On The Town

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After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.  

That's when I realized I made it home safely.

It's A Boy -- And What A Boy!

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"IT'S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY."

And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel again!

Typical Priest

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A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."

"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."

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Take Out The Trash

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

Celebrate Good Times C'mon

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king – moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him... but I said no."

Husband says: "Yep... and it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

And that's when the fight started...

Advice For Parents

You don't have to vaccinate all your children.

Just the ones you want to keep.