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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

You're Not Going To Feel A Thing

Created: 10 April 2015
Hits: 2362

Girl finishes screwing a guy and says: "You said you're a dentist?" "Yes, I am." he proudly replied.

"You must be a great dentist." "Why do you say that?"

"I didn't feel a thing."

Like A Bird

Created: 07 April 2015
Hits: 3244

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.

"Your Honor," she began coolly, "I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly."

Rather Have A Puppy

Created: 06 April 2015
Hits: 3138

Little Johnny is walking along with his father and they pass two dogs that are going at it. He says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' over there?"

His father says, "Er... son, they're making a puppy."

That night, Little Johnny walks past his parents bedroom, and the old man's giving it to the old lady. Little Johnny says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' now?"

His father says, "Er...son, we're making you a baby brother."

Little Johnny says, "Well, flip her over. I'd rather have a puppy."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Mental Health

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

Cause We're Trading Places

After dinner last night my wife looked at me with those eyes of hers and sweetly asked: "Honey, is it OK if we change positions tonight?" "Sure" I replied.

"Great" She said, "You do the dishes and I'll go sit on the couch and fart!"

And that's when the fight started...

Chip Off The Old Block

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.

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