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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

It's Kind Of Like Dollar Pizza

Hits: 3050

How's pussy like pizza?

The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.

No Greater Feeling

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Why is being in the military like a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

It's Gonna Be A Good Year

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What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

I always wanted a pair of real cowboy boots. So I found a pair on sale and wore them home. Walking in the kitchen I asked my wife: "Notice anything different about me?" She looked up and said: "Nope."

So I figured how to fix that. I went into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again I asked her: "Notice anything different now?"  This time she slowly looked me up and down, then said: "What's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Now I was really mad so I told her: "You know why it's hanging down. 'Cause it's lookin' at my new boots!" Without missing a beat she said" "Then you shoulda bought a hat."

And that's when the fight started...

After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

A Night Out On The Town

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...