Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

: Created: 10 July 2015; Hits: 3217

If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”

Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.

: Created: 09 July 2015; Hits: 3505

My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.

Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

: Created: 08 July 2015; Hits: 3779

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Like Old Stinky Cheese

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.

She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."

She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"

A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

In The Blink Of An Eye

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

A Hobby For My Old Age

A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"

The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."

The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."