How's pussy like pizza?
The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.
How do you know if a hippie's been staying at your house?
He's still there.
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said: 'Do you want to have sex?
"'No!" she answered. Then I said: "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, and just said: "Yes."
So I said: "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.
He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"
Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."
