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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Let's Think About Sex

Hits: 2527

What do women think about during sex? That depends...

The prostitute thinks: "That's all."

The nymphomaniac thinks: "That's all?"

The housewife thinks: "Beige...yes, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

We're Not Crazy ... Yet!

Hits: 2797

What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?

If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

Scratch 'n Sniff

Hits: 2923

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

They don't have balls to scratch.

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Witness For The Prosecution

Returning from a business trip a day early a guy tells his cab driver: "Cabbie, I think my wife's cheating on me. If I give you a hundred bucks, will you come in and be my witness?" The cabbie says, "Sure, pal."

It's after midnight when they enter the house. The husband grabs his gun from the front closet and he and the cabbie tip-toe up the stairs. The husband pushes the bedroom door open, flips on the light and pulls back the blanket. Sure enough he sees his wife and a stranger lying there totally naked.

The husband puts the gun to the naked guy's head when his wife screams: "Stop! Don't do it. I'll confess. I lied to you when I told you I had inherited some money. It was Larry who paid for that red Corvette I gave you. It was Larry who paid for your new bass boat as well, And it was Larry who paid for our country club membership. Larry even pays the monthly club dues and greens fees."

The husband lowers the gun and looks at the cabbie. "What would you do?" he asks.

The cabbie says, "I'd cover Larry's ass with that blanket before he catches cold."

Always Bet On Black

What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

A pilot you racist bastard.

A Penis Enlarger That Really Works

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.