A woman yells out, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."
To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"
When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten. The old gal asks: "What's up?" He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor." She says: "How often do I have to do that?"