Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.
"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.
And that's when the fight started...
Gal tells her friend, "I just read it's against the law to go topless in the New York subway."
Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."
My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I told her I got a girlfriend.
