Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What is the main difference between the first and second honeymoon?
On the second honeymoon, the husband is the one sobbing, "It's way too big."
I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."
