Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you say to a man with five penises?
"Your jeans fit like a glove."
Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"
The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."
Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.
The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.
