Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."
Artist: "Great."
"Not really, he was your doctor."
How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?
She sits on his face and he tells lies.
A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.
A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"
The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."
