It's Gonna Be A Good Year

What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.

Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.

So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."

And that's when the fight started...

Sally: "Let's play house."

Little Johnny: "What do I do?"

Sally: "Communicate your feelings."

Johnny: "How do I do that?"

Sally: "Perfect. You can be the husband!"

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

After two years, the job still sucks.