Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."
Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"
"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."
To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."
