How are blondes like computers?
You never appreciate them until they go down on you.
How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
He's smoking a cigarette.
A priest gets a flat tire fixed.
As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"
The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."
The priest says, "You better give them another turn."
"By the Thanksgiving meal eveyone goes around the table saying what they are most thankful for, you know what I say?
I'm thankful I didn't get caught!"
