What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Why'd the trapeze artist divorce his wife?
He caught her in the act.
Three words to ruin a man's ego...
"Is it in?"
(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)
One night my wife tried to get a rise out of me and make me jealous. She asked: "Honey, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
I told her: "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
And that's when the fight started...
