What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
...so, I took her to a gas station.
