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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Not For Instagram

Created: 09 September 2016
Hits: 2432

Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.

Professional Opinion

Created: 07 September 2016
Hits: 2699

Guy visits the doctor and tells him, "Doc, I've got a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." The doctor tells him, "Bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day, the guy comes back with his wife. The doctor tells her, "Please take off all of your clothes and lie down on the table." After she's lying there naked, the doctor walks around the table a few times, looking her up and down and all around.

Finally he pulls the guy aside and assures him, "You're fine. She don't give me a hard-on, either."

Honey, It's For You

Created: 04 September 2016
Hits: 2297

The phone rings and Mrs. Johnson answers. A voice breathing heavily on the other end says, "I bet you have a tight asshole with no hair."

She replies, "Yeah, he's watching TV. Who should I say is calling?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

No Prescription Necessary

A lady walked into a pharmacy and asked: "Do you have Viagra?" The pharmacist answered: "Sure." She then asked: "Does it work?" and his reply was: "Definitely!"

Finally whe wanted to know: "Can you get it over the counter?" and he told her "I can if I take two!"

But, It's Just So Small!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breath through something that small?"

Bodily Fluids

Why do you get paid more at The Sperm Bank than at The Blood Bank?

Sperm is handmade.

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