A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.

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It Takes More Than One

After weeks without gettin' any I got really pissed off and asked my wife: "What has two arms, two legs, two boobs & sucks?"

Before she could even think of a reply I told her: "You and a vacuum cleaner."

And that's when the fight started...

A Real Woman

A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"

A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"

Short Strokes

What do you do in case of fallout?

Put it back in and take shorter strokes.