Not For Instagram

Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.

If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?

Two highballs and a squirt.

How's pussy like pizza?

The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.