Don't Blame Me

: Created: 23 December 2016; Hits: 2397

My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.

I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Normal Reaction

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

Boring!

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.

I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"

And that's when the fight started...

The One Thing Not To Do

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.