Not The Best Choice

Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

How's pussy like pizza?

The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.

Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.