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Not The Best Choice

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Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Little Bit Of Alcohol Always Does The Trick

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.

Mental Health

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

A Tough Decision

Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest & a pilot are in a plane that's about to crash.

The pilot says: "Well, we only have three parachutes, let's give them to the three Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them."

The lawyer says: "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"

The priest says: "Do we have time?"