Not The Best Choice

: Created: 12 September 2016; Hits: 2212

Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

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Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

Driver's Ed

Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.

Never Drink And Drive

A guy is driving home when a cop pulls him over.
The cop says, "Have you been drinking?"
The guy says, "Yes, I have."
The cop says, "Please step out of the car."
The guy says, "Why? Don't you believe me?"