Not The Best Choice

Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

A guy goes in to see an optometrist.

The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."

The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

A son asks, "Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?"

"Well son, just take a look at your mother,".

"But Dad, she's not black either."

"I know, you idiot! She's a fucking whore!"