What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...
What do a grizzly bear and a limp dick have in common?
Don't fuck with them.
Little Johnny was in sex ed class when the teacher began a discussion about genitals. Johnny shouted out, "My old man has got two of those"
The teacher was shocked and asked Johnny to explain.
"Well, the small one he uses when he takes a piss. And the large one he uses to brush the baby sitter's teeth."
