What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
Two gay guys live together. The first guy says, "Let's play hide and seek. I'll hide, and if you can find me, I'll blow you."
The second guy asks, "What if I can't find you?"
His roomy tells him, "I'll be behind the piano."
The average vagina 8" deep, the average penis 5 1/2" long. Do the math. In New York City alone there's 165 miles of unused pussy.
