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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

Anniversary Hint

Created: 16 October 2014
Hits: 4072

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Created: 12 October 2014
Hits: 3569

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

What's On TV?

Created: 08 October 2014
Hits: 2841

Wife walks into the den & asks: "What's on the TV?"

I told her "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Who Knows What?

What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?

A fuckin know-it-all!

Why A Guy Hates Valentines Day

Valentines day is just a massive hassle:

1. Remember to text my girlfriend a big lovey dovey message at the start of the day.
2. Remember to buy her a card in my lunch break.
3. Buy her some more crap in the rush hour after work before I meet her.
4. Take her to a fancy restaurant and pay for a pointlessly expensive meal.
5. Take her back to her place and give her some gentle, passionate love when all I want to do is excessively bang her.

And I have to do all this, then drive home without my wife finding out!

Go Both Ways

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

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