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And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

Anniversary Hint

Created: 16 October 2014
Hits: 3899

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Created: 12 October 2014
Hits: 3404

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

What's On TV?

Created: 08 October 2014
Hits: 2706

Wife walks into the den & asks: "What's on the TV?"

I told her "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Need A Pen

What's the job application at Hooters?

They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."

Big Ego

Three words to ruin a man's ego...

"Is it in?"

(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)

Turnabout is Fair Play

Three blonde men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.

The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river. So God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.

The second man prays to God to make him even smarter. So God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.

Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all. So God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.

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