This One's About Tools

: Created: 31 March 2017; Hits: 1542

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

For Biology or Sex Ed?

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis.

Her mom said: "You should have asked me last night... it was on the tip of my tongue."

And That's Why I Went Hungry

Little Johnny goes to school. His first class is English, and the teacher wants the kids to say what they ate for breakfast and spell it.

Jenny raises her hand and says: "'toast' -- t o a s t." Bobby says: "my turn teacher 'eggs' -- e g g s." Little Johnny shouts out" "'fucking nothing' -- f u c k i n g n o t h i n g."

The teacher is furious and makes Little Johnny stand in the corner till the end of the English lesson.

The next class is geography. The teacher puts a map up and asks the class who knows where the Polish border lies.

Little Johnny shoots up his hand and says: "He's at home on top of my mom. That's why I got fucking nothing for breakfast!"

Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.