This One's About Tools

: Created: 31 March 2017; Hits: 1790

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.

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Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.

My Name Is Mud

A big, fat farmer is walking down a dirt road in the rain with his big, fat wife when he suddenly gets horny. He pulls his wife down to the ground, lifts up her dress, and starts fucking her.

After a minute, he says, "Elsie, is it in you, or is it in the mud?" She says, "It's in the mud."

He reaches down, and fiddles around a bit. Then he says, "Now is it in you, or is it in the mud?" She says, "It's in me."

He says, "Put it back in the mud."

I'm A Barbie Girl, In A Barbie World...

Why can't Barbie get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in a different box.