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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Created: 12 October 2014
Hits: 3558

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

What's On TV?

Created: 08 October 2014
Hits: 2832

Wife walks into the den & asks: "What's on the TV?"

I told her "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started...

Mother-In-Law's Gift

Created: 04 October 2014
Hits: 2935

Last year, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

This year I didn't buy her anything..

When my wife asked me why I didn't buy her mother a gift this year I told her "Hey, she never used the gift I bought her last year!"

And that's when the fight started...

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I'm Too Old For This

How do you know when you are getting old?

When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

What's The Scoop

I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"

She said: "Great, pour me some."

And that's when the fight started...

How To Make Your Husband Happy

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."

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