What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
A car salesman sits down at a bar next to a hooker.
He orders a drink and says: "If I don't sell some cars I'm going to lose my ass."
The hooker looks at him and says: "Yeah... well if I don't sell some ass I'm gonna lose my car."
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?
A seat belt.
