What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.
I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
"I do"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?
A crack whore.
