What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."
The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your dick so I can enlarge it."
And that's when the fight started...
A girl says to a salesman, "I need some batteries for my vibrator."
He motions with his finger, "Come this way..."
She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need a fucking vibrator."
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
