What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever.
A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.
The wife cries because it's over.
And the husband smiles because it happened.
Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"
"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"