Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.

"Well..." the doctor begins, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."

The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

Little Johnny asked his dad: "How much does it cost to get married?

His father replied: "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it!"

Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop anytime.

The Diagnosis