Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.

"Well..." the doctor begins, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."

The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

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Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

Old Dick is always willing to help a guy score with a great pickup line. Here's one you can try:

"I'd like to point out that 'beautiful' has 'u' in it. But, 'quickie' has u & i together."

You're welcome.

The Diagnosis