Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.

"Well..." the doctor begins, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."

The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

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What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.

His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

The Diagnosis