Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.

"Well..." the doctor begins, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."

The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

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Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.

How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?

She sits on his face and he tells lies.

What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?

Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.

The Diagnosis