A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

The Diagnosis

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An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.

"Well..." the doctor begins,  "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."

The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."

A Musician

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What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

Flag At Half Staff

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What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

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What's For Dinner?

Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?

To warm up her husband's dinner.

It's A Small World Afterall

Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we play through?"

The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?" His buddy says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress." The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over."

He gets about halfway there and comes back. The second guy says, "What's wrong?"

The first guy says, "Small world."

Show Some Respect

My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.