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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Baby Polar Bear

Created: 31 October 2014
Hits: 3395

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

Paralysis Comes Easy

Created: 29 October 2014
Hits: 3230

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

Adoption Laws

Created: 26 October 2014
Hits: 3090

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Bring Out The Tape Measure

Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

One Professional to Another

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and yells: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The guy behind him says: "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Cover Your Ears

How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?

Call her and tell her.

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