What's the difference between a musician and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
A college kid is fucking an old lady. She says, "It may be Winter on top, but it's Summer in the furnace."
He says, "Yeah? Well, if you don't put a little Spring in your ass, we're gonna be here till Fall."
What do you call a man who lost all his intelligence?
A widower.
When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.
When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.
When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.
When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.
Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!
