A husband asks his wife: "If I died, would you marry again?" The wife replies lovingly: "Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t. I’d go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?"
The husband looks at her and says: "No, I think I’d go and live with your sister too."
A guy comes home from work and finds his wife on her hands and knees in the kitchen scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on. Seizing the moment he quickly slips it in and starts humping her doggie style. When he's through he pulls out and at the same time hits her real hard up side the head.
"What was that for?" the wife screamed "Here I am being so nice to you, letting you really enjoy yourself. Why'd you hit me?"
The husband looks at her and says "For not looking back to see who it was."
A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."
Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".
She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."
