Smells Like A Good Time

What's the difference between pussy & pot?

If you can smell pot from across the room it's the good stuff.

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.

My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...