Just Plain Funny

Created: 14 February 2015

Hits: 3172

I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.

Hope she finds someone nice.

Created: 14 February 2015

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I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,

"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"

Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:

"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and  I've been banging your brother."

I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:

"You OK mom?"

Created: 14 February 2015

Hits: 3180

Valentines day is just a massive hassle:

1. Remember to text my girlfriend a big lovey dovey message at the start of the day.
2. Remember to buy her a card in my lunch break.
3. Buy her some more crap in the rush hour after work before I meet her.
4. Take her to a fancy restaurant and pay for a pointlessly expensive meal.
5. Take her back to her place and give her some gentle, passionate love when all I want to do is excessively bang her.

And I have to do all this, then drive home without my wife finding out!