A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

You, My One And Only

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The day before Valentine's day I was looking for the perfect card for my wife when I saw something strange.

On the front of one of the cards it said, "I love you and only you."

By itself it may not sound strange, but this was a package of 20 cards.

Going Postal

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My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

Not That Kind Of Table

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Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.

Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Just Like Your Father

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"

Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

The Birds and the Bees

Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.

"Won't that knock my teeth out?"

Making Love

A married couple thought they were way too interested in sex, so they decided to make love only in the months that had an "R" in them. This worked OK until they hit May, June, and July.

Finally, the husband came home from work onr night and asked his wife, "What month is it?" 

She looked up at him and smiled, "Aurgust,"