A little girl asked her mom: "When you and daddy have sex, who enjoys it more?"
Her mother thought for a moment and replied: "Sweetie, you know when you have an itch in your ear and you stick your finger in and wiggle it around to make it go away? Think about it... which feels better, your finger or your ear?"
When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."