Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?
100 people who don't do dick.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.The old gal asks: "What's up?"He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."She says: "How often do I have to do that?"