That's One Way to Get Nothing Done

: Created: 05 November 2015; Hits: 3432

Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?

100 people who don't do dick.

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How To Spend a Fun Afternoon

A cop pulls a guy over with a pickup truck full of penguins. He says:"You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says OK, and drives off.

The next day, the cop sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, only now they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over again and barks at him: "I thought I told you yesterday to take these penguins to the zoo?"

The guy answers back: "I did ... today we're going to the beach!"

No Greater Feeling

Why is being in the military like a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

You're On The Clock

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times. In moments of temptation ask yourself just one question: Is 15 minutes of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"

One young girl in the back of the room rose and asked: "Excuse me, but how do you make it last 15 minutes?"