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Not That Kind Of Table

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Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.

Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.

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A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

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That Discussion With Your Kid

Two guys were talkin' at the bar. The first one told his buddy: "My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, 'Is that the best you can do?'"

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A blonde psych major worked her way thru college as a prostitute.

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