Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.
Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.
A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.
He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."
The doc says, "You're just not eating right."
Two guys were talkin' at the bar. The first one told his buddy: "My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, 'Is that the best you can do?'"
A blonde psych major worked her way thru college as a prostitute.
For 50 bucks she screws with your mind.