Not That Kind Of Table

Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.

Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.

Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?

To warm up her husband's dinner.

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.