Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.
Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.
"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?
Husband: "Yeah why?"
"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"
Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.
4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.
2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.