Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

: Created: 18 July 2017; Hits: 2768

Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

An ironing board's legs are hard to open.

: Created: 17 July 2017; Hits: 2965

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.

When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.

When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.

Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!

: Created: 14 July 2017; Hits: 2623

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

An Incident In The Waiting Room

An old man walked into a doctor's office to find a crowded waiting room. When he approached the front desk the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, how may we help you?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," he said out loud.

The receptionist became irritated and admonished the old guy, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say such things in that fashion."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he answered.

"Because" replied the receptionist. "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of strangers. You should have been more delicate and said somehting like 'there's something wrong with my ear.' Then you could have discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

"Ah... I see." said the old man. Then he proceeded to walk out of the office. waited several minutes and returned. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes?"

This time the old man stated "There's something wrong with my ear". The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the old man replied!!!

Finger Licking Good

What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?

They both have a description of the animal on the front of the cage. The Southern zoo includes a recipe.

Dig Deep In The Memory Banks

A man picks up a cute little number in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. After they're done screwing around he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"

She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be... your face looks familiar."