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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Every Day is Ironing Day

Created: 18 July 2017
Hits: 2888

Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

An ironing board's legs are hard to open.

The Story of My Love Life

Created: 17 July 2017
Hits: 3045

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.

When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.

When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.

Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!

For Those Too Young To Remember

Created: 14 July 2017
Hits: 2699

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not That Kind Of Table

Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.

Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.

Get In The Swing Of Things

The cops show up at the house. There's a guy lying on the floor in a pool of blood and a woman holding a bloody 5-iron. One of the cops says, "Is that your husband?" She says, "Yep." He says, "He's dead." She says, "Yep." He asks, "Did you hit him with the golf club?" She says, "Yep." He says, "How many times?"

She says, "I don't know. Four, five ... put me down for four."

A Financial Discussion

I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.

She asked why not?

"Cause the thief spends less than you do."

And that's when the fight started...

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