Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
A son asks his father: "What's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'."
His father thinks for a moment then says: "Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with George Clooney for a million bucks."
So he does and mom says: "You bet I would!" The boy reports back to his father but still doesn't understand.
So the father says: "Now, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks."
Off he goes to ask his sister and her reply is: "Absolutely!"
Finally the boy goes back to his dad and says: "I think I get it pop. 'Potentially' we are sitting on two million dollars here... but in 'reality' we're living with a couple of whores."
What's the best part of gardening?
Getting down and dirty with my hoes.
I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.
Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.