Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.
Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."
The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"
