Every Frickin' Joke
Why A Guy Hates Valentines Day
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3144
Valentines day is just a massive hassle:
1. Remember to text my girlfriend a big lovey dovey message at the start of the day.
2. Remember to buy her a card in my lunch break.
3. Buy her some more crap in the rush hour after work before I meet her.
4. Take her to a fancy restaurant and pay for a pointlessly expensive meal.
5. Take her back to her place and give her some gentle, passionate love when all I want to do is excessively bang her.
And I have to do all this, then drive home without my wife finding out!
Excuses, Excuses
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2916
A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
Why Is It St. Valentines Day?
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2997
It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.
A Lucky Valentines Day
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2983
Last year, on Valentine's Day, my fiancée of five years bought me a lottery ticket and I won $10 Million!!
I wonder what she's doing nowadays?
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