Every Frickin' Joke
More Cushion For The Pushin'
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 5011
How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?
Piece of cake.
Sure Is Dark In Here
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3467
A man is having sex with a married woman when her husband comes home from work early. The man runs into the closet where he hears a little voice, "Sure is dark in here."
The man startled can only think to say, "Yes it is."
The boy's voice then says, "Wanna buy this baseball for $50?"
The man replies, "What? That's outrageous."
The boy says, "Or I can just show you my dad's shotgun."
To keep him quiet the man says: "Okay kid, here you go," as he hands the kid the money.
The next week the man is again making love to the same married woman and again her husband comes home early sending him to the closet. And the next thing he hears is the boy's voice, "It sure is dark in here... how about $1000 for the glove."
The man frustrated replies, "What?! That is completely ridiculous."
"Would you rather see the shotgun?" threatens the young man.
So the guy forks over the grand and takes the glove.
The next day the boy is complaining to his father that he sold his glove and ball and has nothing to play with. The father asked him, "What? How much you get?"
The boy replies, "$1050."
The father says, "You shouldn't take advantage of your friends like that! I'm taking you to church right now to confess."
At church the boy gets into the confessional box and says, "It sure is dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start this shit again!"
Unforgettable
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3471
Two women are walking home from a night at the bar and have to pee. So they take a quick detour stop at a cemetery. Problem is they have nothing to wipe with. One decides to use her panties while the other grabs a nearby wreath.
The next day one of the husbands calls the other, "Those girls are are never going out again! My wife came home last night without any panties!"
His buddy replies, "You think that's bad? My wife came home with a card in her crack that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you!'"
Two Is Better Than One
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3534
Mark and Alex are hanging out at home one cold winter day. Alex asks his friend "It's fuckin' freezin' in here. Can you go upstairs and get me my fuckin' slippers?"
So Alex goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Mark's hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, "Your brother just sent me up her to have sex with both of you."
One of the sisters replies, "Yeah. Prove it!"
So Alex yells downstairs, "Hey Mark! Both of them?!"
Mark yells back, "Of course! What's the point of fuckin' one?!"
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