What'd the blonde say when she saw a guy walking two dogs?
"He must be really blind."
What's the difference between a musician and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
A stockbroker calls a client and says, "Sam, I have good news and bad news."
Sam says, "Tell me the bad news first."
The stockbroker says, "I lost all of your money."
Sam says, "What's the good news?"
The stockbroker says, "I got laid last night."
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
