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She Loved My Pickle!

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 11 February 2015
Hits: 3278

A man comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."

His wife replies "On no! Are you okay?"

The man says "Yeah I'm fine."

His wife replies "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"

The man says "Oh yeah, she loved it."

Gone Fishin'

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 10 February 2015
Hits: 2895

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband Is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started...

Is That Your Elbow, Or Are You Happy To See Me?

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 09 February 2015
Hits: 2874

After checking in to a hotel, a man is gets into the elevator and accidentally rubs his elbow against a woman's breasts. He tells her, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, come to room 624."

A Visit To The Hardware Store

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 08 February 2015
Hits: 2953

A married couple is remodeling their home and getting new doors so the husband asks his wife to go get hinges. She goes to the hardware store, picks out the hinges, and pays for them. As she is leaving the clerk realizes that she didn't get a screw for the hinge and says "Hey! Do you want a screw for that hinge?"

She looks at him and says "No..,. but I'll blow you for a microwave"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Visit To My Local Sex Toys Shop

This year I bought some interesting gifts for my wife for Valentine's Day

I got her 2 sets of handcuffs, 4 pairs of crotchless panties, a giant butt plug, a 12 inch vibrator, a bondage whip, a naughty nurses outfit and 6 huge glow in the dark penis shaped helium balloons.

Will she be happy with it all? I don't know.

But what I do know is that on February 14th her grave will stand out more than any others in the cemetery!

No Fairy Tale

Little Red Riding Hood went to grandma's house and found her lying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, ''Grandma, what big eyes you have!'' Grandma replied: ''The better to see you with, my dear.'' Then Little Red Riding Hood remarked: ''Grandma, what big ears you have!'' Grandma smiled and said: "The better to hear you with, my dear.''

Finally Little Red Riding Hood said: ''Grandma, what a big mouth you have!'' Grandma snapped back: ''Of course I do! Have you seen Grandpa's dick?!?''

A Married Couple's Point of View

A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.

The wife cries because it's over.

And the husband smiles because it happened.

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