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"Doctor! It Hurts When I Do This!"

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 24 March 2015
Hits: 3350

A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over." She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts." She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, "Ouch! That hurts, too." She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, "Ow! Even that hurts."

The doctor says, "Are you a natural blonde?" She says, "Yes." The doctor says, "You have a sprained finger."

Bend Over

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 23 March 2015
Hits: 4600

A middle-aged guy goes to the proctologist for his yearly checkup. He strips down, and the doctor tells him to bend over.

The doctor puts his middle finger all the way up the guy's ass and says, "Is that uncomfortable?"

The guy says, "Not as long as I don't feel both of your hands on my back."

Kung Pao Chicken

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 March 2015
Hits: 4209

Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."

Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"

Perfecta

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 March 2015
Hits: 3111

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He says, "What was that for?"

She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jesus, honey...remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."

She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with the frying pan again.

He says, "What was that for?" She says, "Your horse called."

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Moaning And Groaning

My wife and I were basking in the afterglow of having sex when she asked: "Honey, why did God create orgasms?"

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Nutrition Is So Important

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

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