What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."
Wife: "My husband said that?"
"No, all the landscapers."
Why does a dog lick himself?
He can't make a fist.
Why don't Canadians attend orgies?
Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.
