What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.
I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"
And that's when the fight started...
I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"
Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
