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The King and The Queen

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 25 June 2017
Hits: 2640

My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.

Not A Fair Trade

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 24 June 2017
Hits: 2398

My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"

And that's when the fight started...

Ruled By A Dictator

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 23 June 2017
Hits: 2256

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

Turned That List Into a Rap Sheet

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 22 June 2017
Hits: 2478

Why did Santa get arrested?

He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Another Problem To Solve

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?

Gay Sperm ... ummm .. ewwww

What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?

I can't see a thing with all this shit in here!

Almost Crapped My Pants!

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself. Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost.

He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."

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