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Every Frickin' Joke

The King and The Queen

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2708

My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.

Not A Fair Trade

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2457

My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"

And that's when the fight started...

Ruled By A Dictator

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2318

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

Turned That List Into a Rap Sheet

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2528

Why did Santa get arrested?

He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Perfecta

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He says, "What was that for?"

She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jesus, honey...remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."

She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with the frying pan again.

He says, "What was that for?" She says, "Your horse called."

A Musician

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

So It Turns Out You're The Idiot

A man is talking to the family doctor, "Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf." The doctor answers, "Well, here’s something you can try to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."

The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what’s for dinner?" He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Honey, what’s for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.

Finally, she answers, "For the fifth time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!"