Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!
Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.
Do you know what they sing?
I didn't think you did.
Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.
An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."
