Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!
How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?
Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.
Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.
A son asks, "Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?"
"Well son, just take a look at your mother,".
"But Dad, she's not black either."
"I know, you idiot! She's a fucking whore!"
