Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!
What is the cheapest meat?
Deer balls, they're under a buck.
Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.
Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."
The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."
"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."
