Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!
The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."
And that's when the fight started...
Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."
She asked: "How do you know?"
I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."
And that's when the fight started.
2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.
