A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

One Or The Other For Sure

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1808

If a guy opens the car door for his wife you can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Can You Hear What I'm Seeing?

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 1960

My wife asked me: "Why do you go out on the balcony every time I start to sing?"

I told her: "I don't want the neighbors to think I'm beating you."

And that's when the fight started...

That Big? Really?

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1759

My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.

No Place Like Home

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2085

A trucker who was on the road for two weeks stops at a whore house in Atlanta. He plops down $500 bucks and tells the madame: "I want your ugliest girl and a grilled cheese sandwich."

The madamce is astonished and says: "For that kind of money you can have any of my finest ladies and a 5-course dinner."

The trucker replies: "Listen darlin'... I'm not horny - I'm homesick!"

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Ask Sherwin Williams

They finally came out new a new blonde paint.

It's not real bright, but it's cheap... and it spreads easy.

At Least Take A Lunch Break

A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. "Would you maybe like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee?" He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "It’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She tells hum "I’ll go to the store and buy you whatever you want. Maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe a pizza or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes?" And once again he declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I’m fuckin' starving."

Make A Wish

Little Johnny's parents got divorced. One night Little Johnny walked past his mother's bedroom, the door was open, and he sees his mother lying on her back playing with herself, saying "I need a man... I need a man..."

A few nights later he walks past her bedroom again, the door's open, and he sees his mother with a man on top of her.

Little Johnny runs to his room, jumps on his bed, pulls down his pants and starts playing with himself, saying, "I need a bike... I need a bike... "