#NSFW

Here's my observation about work and productivity:

It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn’t block access to porn sites on the internet.

Cop pulls a guy over at 3am: "Where you going at this hour?"

Guy says: "To a lecture on alcohol abuse, its effect on the human body. And the dangers of smoking & staying out late."

"Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

"My wife."

Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.

So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."

And that's when the fight started...

What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?

A lesbian with a hard-on.