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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Sound Advice For Nature Lovers

Hits: 2526

What do a grizzly bear and a limp dick have in common?

Don't fuck with them.

Chip Off The Old Block

Hits: 2725

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.

I Wanna Register To Attend

Hits: 2759

Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

One Night Stand

A man and a woman, who are both married to other people, arrive at a hotel at the same time. The clerk tells them there is only one room left... And after an awkward moment they both agree to share it. Although they feel weird at first, they both manage to fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the night?"

The man replies, "That would be amazing."

The woman smiles and says, "Okay. Get your own fucking blanket!"

Always Bet On Black

What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

A pilot you racist bastard.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."