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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Sound Advice For Nature Lovers

Hits: 1972

What do a grizzly bear and a limp dick have in common?

Don't fuck with them.

Chip Off The Old Block

Hits: 2202

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.

I Wanna Register To Attend

Hits: 2504

Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

That's Pretty Tight!

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

A Better Approach

Two drunks are about to leave the bar at closing time when one says: "Man I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is crawl into bed and crash. But the old lady is waitin' up and won't stop raggin' on me for stayin' out late and comin' home drunk."

His friend tells him: "I found the perfect solution. Instead of tryin' to sneak in I slam the front door and scream out 'Wake up honey I wanna fuck!' When I do that she always pretends to be asleep!"

Not Quite Like Yeezys

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!